Previously we had discussed your Nazism, racism and hatred for everyone but Han Chinese presumably, and why you express such hatred.  The obvious reason is that you are a "bottom-barrel loser" (which is merely a slight rephrasing of what I've pointed out that you are).  Given that you are a failue, you have no life and no dignity, given that you are a person in obvious pain and in desperate need of acceptance and meaning, I ask you: have you considered simply casting off this mortal coil?  It wouldn't be too hard.  If there's anything for self-defense in your home, or perhaps some rat poison, the effect should be quick.