Which is not surprising considering that we're not talking about the racist insults that is the sum total of your knowledge.  So like I said, have you gotten the rat poison yet?  You can get some D-con rat poison for less than $9.  If that's too much for you, you can either steal some, or try to find some in some garbage dumps where you get your normal food.  Try taking the entire box of the rat poison, or really as much as you can, so you don't have to do it twice.  You can try putting it in some bread, if you can ask someone if they will buy you some.  It will go down a bit easier if you buy some beer like Coors or Budweiser or maybe Qingdao if you're in China.  Most important thing is to start accumulating your meal kit and don't pussy out like a little fvcking bitch like you always do.  This is not like your daily begging, this is really important.  Don't fvck it up.