I never asked you to exit this thread.  Quite the contrary, I invite you to stay, so we can talk about what's troubling with your life and how we can solve your problems.  Previously you had mentioned to me that you had dropped out of school several years ago and that you were trying to find some work either as a migrant worker or a beggar and that you had recently been attacked and beaten late at night.  So I think the reason that you've turned to Nazism is that it's a way for you to feel connected to someone who might take you seriously.

Now I don't want to belabor this, but tldr, this is only a temporary solution, what you need is a permanent fix to your suffering.  Are you able to obtain any rat poison?