My whole Christian life started ever since I was born. I went to a church (that spoke English) every Sunday with my mother. But when I was 5, we moved to a new church because my grandparents couldn’t understand English. From then on, I started the Sunday school program. Every Sunday my teachers would tell me a Bible story. I enjoyed the stories including: Moses’s story, Noah’s Ark, Jonah and the whale, David and more. Since I was still very young, I did not grasp much of the gospel as I do now.

My doubt in Christ first started when I was 10. I saw how evil this world was, and it became clear to me what this world was like. I wanted to go my own way. I wanted to do what God didn’t want me to do. To me, living my own way in life was like being an adult. I wanted to grow up so fast, and didn’t realize that life was short and it might end someday.

One night I remembered I asked God a question. I asked him “What would happen if I died, and I wasn’t a Christian?” Unexpectedly, God answered my question through a dream. In my dream, my mother and I were doing our weekly shopping, and then suddenly a group of teenage kids with ski masks and guns held their guns up to our head, and pulled the trigger. Memories flashed back in slow motion, as I was about to die. The last seconds of life, were so precious to me in that moment. At that moment, I could see my mother rising up to heaven, with angels guiding her soul, and I was descended into Hell. It was such a painful, cold, icy feeling. I felt I was the only person there, the only person suffering. The only pain flowing throughout my body was endless lonesome grief. I was isolated with deep sorrow.

Thankfully, I woke up. I could remember calling my mom just to see if I was alive. I noticed that God had just revealed himself to me, and that he loved me so much to give me this sign. I realized that if I continuously living an ungodly life, I would soon be in hell. I started reading the bible more often, and obeying my parents. I wanted to establish a relationship with God. But as time goes by, as a usual Christian’s life, I fell into that “doubt zone” again. I was tempted by Satan, falling into the world and trapped. I had no peace during that time.

But just recently my mother started praying for me every night. God is faithfully and answered her prayers. I started praying more sincerely which led me to my next experience with God. One night I was praying in my room. I could feel God’s presence with me which made my troubles disappear. After I finished praying I decided to put God in first place no matter what. I understood why I was here on this earth. I need to glorify God. Even though I am a sinner and am guilty for so many wrong doings, I know that God love me. We don’t deserve his forgiveness, but he died on the cross because of his love for us. I am so blessed to have Jesus in my life who gave me so many signs. I haven’t changed so much though. I trust God will keep on changing me and sanctifying me so that I can be more and more like Jesus, in order that I can glorify his name.